Changing is tough

“I don’t know what’s worse: to not know what you are and be happy, or to become what you’ve always wanted to be, and feel alone”

—Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon

First I must quickly apologize for changing the layout of this entry. But I believe I will stick to this layout to show the quote first and then hopefully have you guys continue reading on.

If you haven’t yet read Flowers for Algernon I highly recommend it. It’s about a mentally retarded man who undergoes a science experiment to become smarter.  Before people were always making fun of him. They took advantage of his disability and used to their amusement. Although Charlie didn’t understand much of what went on his life, he was still content. Once the experiment started expanding his knowledge of the world, he came to realize that his “friends” he once had used him for their enjoyment.

Charlie grew too much going from one extreme to the other. He shifted into different atmospheres you could say. Like in the Comic Book world, there are different Earth’s (Earth 1, Earth 32). He felt like there was no one he belonged with. Don’t get me wrong change is good, but too much of it changes you. No longer are you funny, slower going Charlie Gordon. You are now a crazed, science stranger—an entire new identity.

I think I would rather not know what is wrong with me and enjoy life as it comes, than be left alone feeling farther advanced than anyone like Charlie. It’s like a few movies you see. There’s always the wanna-be rock star. They get big. They get rich. Then they always realize it wasn’t all that cracked up to be. They lose their friends and wish they were back in the garage jamming out. I believe, in the end, everyone ends up choosing to go back to normal.

It could also be that our minds play up the fantasy a little too much. We expect it to be the huge dream we’ve been waiting for where everything is perfect. We want to be smart and fit in, or make millions and be known across the world. As the saying goes “ It’s never as it seems”.